All the while, feeling ever alone in his struggle.īoA is dear to me because at the end of that exhausting journey, Nico has suffered even further and horrifically, but not in vain. That internal torment of worshipping his self-made idol, then recoiling in disgust at such adulation which his upbringing/background deemed heresy. But when he did allow himself moments of indulgence, oh the soothing comfort of gazing at that light in the darkness, that green-eyed embodiment of all that could be, in contrast to all that had gone wrong in his own life. How he must have despised his heart for fixating on an object so unattainable, so close yet beyond reach, so incomprehensible because of those other confusing emotions- animosity, resentment, envy (because who could not envy the hero with a loving living mother, the near-indestructible powers and raw energy that brought forth endless triumphs, the adoration at camp). Desiring it fiercely but denying himself equally fiercely, knowing it was impossible on so many levels. How he preserved that basic human condition of caring about someone, and desiring to be cared for in return. How despite the traumatic events of his early life, which understandably caused him to build up a mental fortress and attempt to seal himself off from more pain, in his innermost being he still yearned for someone. it is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.”
It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit … ‘Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? … Love in this second sense - love as distinct from ‘being in love’ - is not merely a feeling. If the old fairy-tale ending ‘They lived happily ever after’ is taken to mean ‘They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,’ then it says what probably never was nor ever would be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called ‘being in love’ usually does not last. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last but feelings come and go.
OBLIVION SONG JACKS SONG FULL
Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. “Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing.
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